On this chapter of Becoming : Letting go and Letting God define me
Have you ever wanted something so badly that you lost yourself in the process of trying to keep it?
You bend.
You fold.
You shrink and stretch into someone more likeable.
Someone easier to love.
Someone harder to leave.
Well I have.
For a long time, I believed that loving something meant holding on with everything I had, leaving claw marks on the things I didn’t want to lose. I thought if I could just prove I cared enough, fought hard enough, I’d be enough.
Letting go felt like losing control. I just had to prove my worth by showing anyone who rejected me how valuable I truly was.
I ,however, knew I had evolved when my claws began to fall away. They were shed in the struggles and battles I endured just to feel like I was good enough.
I lost myself in those battles, and I’m glad I did because a new me emerged.
I used to shame the girl who fought so hard to be seen.
Now, I honor her scars.
We wrestled long enough for me to become the woman who no longer fights to be chosen.
It has taken time to get here, but I am finally convinced:
I am enough. I always was
My worth was never defined by someone else’s ability,or failure, to see it.
For too long, I let the world name me.
I let rejection define me.
I let silence shape me.
I let achievements, attention, and affection measure my value.
Now, I am learning to make space for what honors me and what God says about me.
Here is what God says about me:
I am fearfully and wonderfully made. — Psalm 139:14
I am loved, deeply loved. Nothing will ever separate me from the love God has for me. Not even death — Romans 8 vs 38 -39
I am God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works. — Ephesians 2:10
I have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins. — Ephesians 1:7
I am never alone . The Lord my God goes with me; He will never leave me nor forsake me. — Deuteronomy 31:6
His grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in weakness. — 2 Corinthians 12:9